Imagine you go back to some day 1961. You got a job setting up pin in a bowling ally. Pins you learn are these wooden “pins”. Wooden shaped female dolls without arms or legs. The bowlers try to knock down all the female wooden dolls with on roll of a “Bowling” ball. A cannon ball with 3 or sometimes two or 4 holes for the fingers to grasp then throw it at the female wooden pins. It is as heavy as a canon ball. The faster the ball is thrown the harder it hits the pins and the wooden victims fly all over a contained area to control their flight. The bowling pit. This is where I worked. I picked up these wooden pins and slammed down hard on a pedal that popped up 10 pegs arranged in a pyramid arrangement the point directed at the bowler. Then I placed the pins over the pegs let go of the pedal and scuttled for my life. This was before automatic bowling pin setting machines were born. I survived 2 years. Quit and got an easier job parking cars. I have a few physical scares from pins bouncing off my body. Mentally any time something comes at me I want duck and run. My brothers and sisters said at night I would be asleep running up and down the hallway yelling duck. Some idiot thought I was high and flicked his fingers in front of my eyes. He is ok they dropped the charges.

My name is Mark. Mark my words. Things in my youth I alone experienced. Children my age had experiences the same time with me on outings or during conversation. Growing old blurs most of those memories. What ones are the permanent ones that pop up so unexpected? Why? Maybe a scattering of mind bowling pins. When all is settled there is the memory to put down on the scorecard. Chalk it up move on to the next second of your life.

I yearned for those feeling of love to last before during and after connections of flesh and mind. They are so short and hard to find now a days. When experiencing them we wished they would last an eternity. We had to wait for eternity and some gave up and just went away. Some waited.

Relationships are so hard to find yet humanity throw relationships around like a hurricane inside a volcano. In life you cannot always hold someone. They will pry you apart and arrest you or hospitalize you. Medicate you make fun of you and identify with you. We must be apart sometimes. How long? What seconds belong to the hours we want as oppose to the seconds we have lost. This is not new information.

The yearning. That is the part I hate the most. Being apart and yearning. Will my past be there for my future. Sadly, sometimes not. Other times joyfully yes a thousand times. Then millions of humans write story upon story about the feelings all this yearning started. Yearning.

Well. I am yearning for a whiskey dry. I’ll let this tape here and do put it in the real unreal library after you copy it. Thanks God Bless.

Recorded by Luke Johns hired to record on record then file. Dr Happy Felix’s Library. EChumly said just leave it anywhere. So here it is on the couch in the lobby with a note.